By Michelle Richards-Thompson
The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, family traditions, and celebration. Yet for many seniors and their families, the holidays can also bring stress, loneliness, grief, family tension, financial strain, routine changes, and increased caregiving responsibilities.
A person can feel grateful to be surrounded by family while also missing someone who is no longer there. They can enjoy a family gathering while feeling physically exhausted. They can also love their children while feeling disappointed by notable life transitions. Health concerns, reduced mobility, retirement, financial changes, the loss of loved ones, and shifts in family roles and social networks can all shape how a person experiences the holidays. Holiday traditions may also highlight what has changed. Moreover, a gathering that once included a spouse, sibling, friend, or other loved one may now look very different. Adult children may have their own partners, children, work responsibilities, and traditions. Family members may live in different cities or provinces, making frequent visits difficult.
Loneliness is not simply being physically alone; it is the subjective feeling that one’s desired social connection is missing. Research has consistently identified loneliness and social isolation as major concerns in later life, and studies have linked them to poorer health and well-being.
What would help seniors feel connected and included this holiday season?
The answer may be a large family dinner, but it could also be a quiet visit, a phone call, attending a faith-based service, sharing a favourite meal, watching a movie together, or spending one-on-one time with a family member.
Expectations of Seniors and Holiday Stress
Family gatherings can bring together people with different personalities, communication styles, expectations, and opinions. Seniors may also feel pressure to uphold traditions that are no longer practical. Seniors may want to host their families during the holiday season, and they may feel added pressure to prepare meals, buy gifts, and experience financial strain to keep everyone happy. One of the most important questions I encourage clients to consider is this:
What is within my control, and what is outside my control?
You cannot control another person’s behaviour, expectations, reactions, or choices. However, you can choose how you communicate, what you participate in, what boundaries you set, and when you take a break.
Try the “Control Check”
Before entering a potentially stressful situation, ask:
What am I responsible for?
What am I not responsible for?
What expectations am I placing on myself?
What expectations are others placing on me?
Supporting Seniors Who Feel Lonely
Families sometimes assume that a senior’s loneliness will disappear once the family gathers for the holidays. However, loneliness is more closely tied to the quality and meaningfulness of connections than to the number of people present.
Research shows that seniors may feel less lonely when they have opportunities to talk with others, exercise, stay socially connected, use technology, share memories, or take part in different activities. However, some of these approaches have been studied more thoroughly than others (Hoang et al., 2022).
Grief and Changing Holiday Traditions
The holidays can intensify grief because traditions often bring memories to the fore. The first holiday after a loved one’s death may be especially difficult, but grief can resurface years later. As a mental health therapist, I know that during this time of year, seniors may experience a plethora of memories of loved ones.
In my work with older adults experiencing grief, I often validate their emotions by reminding them, “You don’t have to pretend that you are okay. We can talk about them if you want.” Giving someone permission to acknowledge their grief can help create space for honest conversations about loss, memories, and the ways family traditions may have changed. Research on grief interventions for seniors suggests that approaches that incorporate behavioural activation and restoration-oriented coping can be helpful.
Seniors may decide to change a long-standing tradition, but it does not mean forgetting the person or abandoning the past. It can mean finding a way to carry on meaningful memories while acknowledging that life has changed.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries help seniors protect their emotional and physical well-being. A senior does not have to attend every event, prepare a large meal to host large gatherings, buy gifts for everyone, or stay for several hours simply because of deep-rooted family traditions. Sometimes a small gathering or hosting a potluck with children and close family members can be just as fulfilling. Instead of exchanging gifts with everyone, the family might focus on a shared experience.
Caregiver Stress During the Holidays
Holiday responsibilities can be especially challenging for seniors who are also caregivers, as well as for family members caring for an aging parent. Family caregiving is recognized as a significant source of chronic stress, and research underscores the importance of interventions that address caregiver burden and well-being (Schulz et al., 2020). Recent research also indicates that psychosocial interventions, including psychoeducation, CBT, mindfulness-based approaches, and caregiver support, can reduce caregiver burden in some circumstances (Chen et al., 2025).
Seniors need to protect their basic needs, including sleep, meals, medication, movement, and rest. During busy periods, these routines can easily fall by the wayside. However, maintaining regular sleep, meals, medication schedules, movement, and rest can provide structure during an emotionally demanding holiday season.
In my clinical practice, I generally recommend that older adult clients experiencing stress or anxiety consider simple grounding and mindfulness practices as additional coping strategies. Mindfulness-based interventions have shown potential to reduce symptoms of anxiety and stress in older adults, although the strength of evidence varies across studies.
What would make this holiday meaningful for seniors?
For one senior, the answer may be spending time with grandchildren. For another, it may be a quiet meal with a close friend. Someone else may prefer volunteering, attending a community event, participating in a faith-based activity, or simply enjoying a peaceful day at home. The goal isn’t to eliminate every source of stress; it is to make thoughtful choices about what matters most. I believe a simple plan can shift the focus from trying to manage everything to intentionally choosing what matters most. ◼
Practical Strategies For Managing Stress and Protecting Mental Well-Being
Managing holiday stress can affect seniors’ mental health and well-being. However, techniques can make a meaningful difference in an elderly person’s life. In addition, consistent actions can make a meaningful difference, including:
Plan Ahead
Identify the events and responsibilities that are most important to you. Consider which activities you can attend, modify, or decline.
Build in Quiet Time
Busy schedules can become overwhelming. Intentionally schedule periods of rest between activities.
This might include:
Reading
Listening to music
Taking a walk
Practicing deep breathing
Watching a favourite movie
Spending quiet time with a pet
Sitting outdoors
Rest is part of self-care.
Practice Grounding and Slow Breathing
When emotions become intense, try a simple grounding exercise. Breathe in slowly through your nose and exhale gently. This can help bring your attention back to the present moment.
Stay Connected
Loneliness can feel more noticeable during the holidays, especially when an elderly family member lives far away. Connection does not have to involve a large gathering.
Consider:
Calling a friend
Video chatting with family
Attending a community event
Joining a faith or community group
Volunteering
Inviting someone for coffee
Participating in a seniors’ activity
Reaching out to someone who may also be alone
Sometimes one meaningful conversation can make a significant difference.
The holiday season does not have to be perfect to be meaningful. For seniors, it can be an opportunity to slow down, acknowledge changing circumstances, honour memories, and focus on the relationships and experiences that bring genuine comfort and connection.
This holiday season, rather than asking, “How can I make everything perfect?” consider asking, “What would make this season meaningful for me and for the people I care about?” For seniors and their families, the greatest gift may simply be the reminder that you do not have to navigate the holidays alone.
Michelle Richards-Thompson
Michelle Richards-Thompson is a Canadian Certified Counsellor with a Master of Counselling Psychology from Athabasca University and a Bachelor of Science in Guidance and Counselling from Northern Caribbean University.
A compassionate, client-centred therapist, Michelle believes counselling is a collaborative journey grounded in a safe, supportive and non-judgmental environment. She has a particular passion for working with seniors and extensive experience supporting individuals navigating grief, loss, loneliness, retirement, changes in family relationships, loss of independence and social isolation.
Michelle draws on evidence-based approaches including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Compassion-Focused Therapy, Emotion-Focused Therapy and EMDR. She is also experienced in supporting caregivers and individuals affected by trauma and other mental health challenges.